May 20, 2010

Wish me luck

Posted in Work at 7:11 am by lifebytheday

Nothing like a spur-of-the-moment mid-year review to take your mind off the 2ww.  Eeek! 

Just my bad luck that I drew the short straw and am in the first group of reviews my boss will be doing TODAY.  Hopefully the fact that I’ve only been in the job for 3 MONTHS means that he’ll go a little easier on me…

Wish me luck!

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March 16, 2010

Melting down

Posted in Infertility, Life, Work at 6:40 pm by lifebytheday

For the first time in years, I cried on Sunday night…in anticipation (and dread!) of the week ahead.  And that was after working 4-5 hours on Saturday and again on Sunday, so it’s not like I was even mourning the end of a relaxing weekend!  I know that I did this to myself, which makes it hard to complain about it…but right now, this job is sucking the life out of me.  I haven’t had quality time with S in about a month, and he’s starting to lose patience…and I’m just so TIRED.  I just can’t keep up!  I mean, I like all of the individual aspects of the job (I think)…there are just too many of them!

I realized after my last post that I was absolutely leading the witness…asking you guys questions in a way that you could only answer one way.  But seriously, in the past few days I have done some real soul searching and have finally accepted the fact there is NO WAY that I could physically or mentally handle cycling right now.  And even if I pushed through and did it, I’d be so stressed an exhausted that my embies wouldn’t stand a chance!

So as much as it sucks to delay MORE, we’re going to sit tight until April and hope that work dies down like everyone has been promising me.  Wish me luck…!

January 21, 2010

On to the next round!

Posted in Infertility, Work tagged , , at 3:55 pm by lifebytheday

Thanks for all the good vibes friends – they worked!  After an almost TWO HOUR interview, I asked whether he had any concerns about my candidacy or ability to do the job…and he said NO!  Yayyyyyy!! 😀

So next steps are a project (I have to go to a local college, talk to professors about what they look for in a sales rep, and write a report – easy peasy!), and then a second (and hopefully final) interview, scheduled for the first week of February…the same time as the potential dates for my retrieval – UGH!!  Couldn’t be worse timing.  Even worse was the fact that I had to tell my future boss that I have an “outpatient procedure” coming up, but that I won’t know which date it’s on until two days before it happens!  I just have to move forward under the assumption that whatever is meant to be will be…and hope that my boss isn’t smart enough to do the math when I announce my pregnancy in three months (or at least doesn’t associate fertility procedures with 27 year olds)! 😉

January 20, 2010

Wish me luck!

Posted in Work tagged at 1:15 pm by lifebytheday

Just a quick post to ask for some prayers and positive vibes – my interview is in two hours!!  Work has been so crazy this week that it’s been difficult to adequately prepare…but I just have to hope that they like me for me (and don’t care that I have NO past experience)! 😉

Eeek!!

January 14, 2010

New opportunities…or just more stress?

Posted in Life, Work tagged , at 11:34 am by lifebytheday

Back in October, I heard about a position that was opening up in my company – a sales rep position for the Boston territory (the current rep was supposedly going to be retiring) – and I jumped on it immediately.  Although I really like what I do (just not some of the people and politics), and don’t actually think I’m going to enjoy sales all that much – if I ever want to advance in this business, I have to head “out-of-house” for a while to prove that I understand our market and our customers.  And to add to that, local (Boston/New England) territories are extremely hard to come by – and since I’m obviously not going to leave S, and our house and his business have pretty much permanently tied us to this area – I really felt like I had to take advantage of this opportunity.  So I spoke to the hiring manager to express my interest, at which point it quickly turned into a waiting game.  Right before Christmas, I heard that the rep would not be retiring until late spring at the earliest, so I just chalked it up to another “meant to be” – that I should focus on getting and staying pregnant, and that maybe this position would just be too difficult at this point in my life. 

That was all well and good, until Tuesday afternoon, when I heard from the manager that rep was in fact retiring (and soon!), that the position would be open on March 1st, and was I still interested.  Yikes!  Obviously, this is not great timing at this point…I could potentially be going through this really intense, 4-5 round interview process, while ALSO going through IVF!!  And then if I DO get the position, I wouldn’t even be in it for a year before going on maternity leave, and it would be an extremely challenging (physically and emotionally) position to hold while pregnant.  But on the flip side, if I don’t grab the position now, who knows when an opportunity like this might come along again?  And this might actually be a really good position to have once the baby arrives (if we can’t swing me staying at home, or working part time) – I’d have a lot of flexibility to set my own schedule and even work from home most days!  Then if it turns out that we ARE able to afford me taking some time off, the experience I’d get from this position would enable me to get back into the industry easier, and probably at a higher level.

So.  S and I sat down and talked about it last night, and we agreed that I’d go for it.  The extra $ will help us pull together a little nest egg, and the flexibility and advancement prospects will be worth the extra challenge and effort.  S is on board and knows that he’s going to be doing a lot of the work around the house if I’m working 10 hour days AND pregnant.  He was really cute – I was like, “What if all I can handle is work and don’t have any energy left over for cooking/laundry/etc?  Will you be okay taking care of all that?”  And he says, “Well of course, you’d be pregnant.”  So apparently he’s going to have the patience of a saint when I’m an incubator…I just hope we survive the stim hormones. 😉 

So wish me luck!  I’m about to press “Send” on my resume and cover letter and have my first informational interview this afternoon – eek!!  Today, I’m clearly thankful for new challenges and opportunities!

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Also, please continue to keep the people of Haiti in your prayers.  If you are able to donate – no matter how little – please find a reputable agency and do so!  Let’s show them that they are not alone.

December 16, 2009

Distress

Posted in Infertility, Life, Work tagged at 1:43 pm by lifebytheday

Just a quick note to say two things:

  1. I hate Metformin.  On Monday night I tried again to up my dose to the prescribed two tabs – and spent the wee hours of Tuesday morning on the toilet, and the subsequent hours on the couch.  I’ve decided to just suck it up and be miserable for a few days, because this yo-yo-ing is NOT pleasant.  I think that the “issues” should go away in a few days, and until then I just have to be careful what I eat. (The only thing I felt like eating for lunch today was turkey and mashed potatoes, so I just ordered – and polished off! – a complete turkey dinner from the diner down the street from work.)  And nope, haven’t done a single couch-to-5k workout since the “rah-rah” first one I blogged about…so all that yummy turkey gravy is just sitting there on my love handles. ;-P
  2. I am sick of work.  I need a new job, or at least a vacation, and CAN NOT WAIT for some time off around Christmas.  Today I sent my boss an email detailing the work I was planning to get done by the end of the week, and explaining how busy and overwhelmed I was…and this is the response I got  – “Okay. We can catch up on all these things this afternoon. There’s a few things on my “to do” list we need to go over.”

Ugh.

December 9, 2009

Week in review

Posted in Infertility, Life, Work tagged , at 4:05 pm by lifebytheday

Wow, it’s been almost ten days since my last post…sorry friends!  In a nutshell, work has been INSANE…and it’s rubbing off on my personal life.  Last week I hosted two focus groups, helped run a half-day team meeting, and had two days worth of a company-wide retreat, complete with breakfast, lunch, dinner and drinks with our out-of-town employees.  Everything went well, but it was exhausting being on-duty for that long…so most nights I just came home and crashed, much to S’s dismay.

Besides feeling uber-overwhelmed, I’m annoyed that the stress of work is preventing me from getting in the Christmas spirit.  I’m actually so wound up that I’m planning to do ALL of my shopping online, because I don’t want to interact with people in any way, shape, or form!  That says it all, huh? 

I’m trying to do everything I can think of to get myself in a better frame of mind…went to early morning mass with my Mom today, and am planning to go to a special healing mass tomorrow night.  I’ve also been spending what time I can just cuddling with S and our fur-babies, and trying not to care too much about having a “perfect” Christmas (decorations, gifts, etc.) this year.  I just want to try to connect with the reason for the season, and take care of myself, my family (and of course my friends!).

In other news, I got my period yesterday (yay!) and officially started my meds protocol for our upcoming IVF!!  The first step is 5-6 weeks of birth control pills (I know, BC pills to help get pregnant, crazy huh??), to help bring my hormones levels back to normal.  Then we start Lupron in mid-January, followed by Gonal F and Repronex on the 23rd.  Right now, the estimated date for the egg retrieval is February 3rd, and February 9th-ish for the (hopefully 5-day) transfer. 

I also found out that I’ll be taking baby As.pirin and Medrol (a low-dose steroid) from ER, through and past ET.  Apparently there are some new studies that say these things help with implantation, so my clinic has been doing that for all IVF patients for the past six months or so.  Has anybody else done this (Ashley – I think you did?)?  Also, in addition to the progesterone shots after ER, I’ll also be using Vivelle patches from the ET through the 2WW – does anyone know what that is for? 

It’s weird…I know that I’ve said that I wanted to do things differently this time around (because the previous protocol obviously didn’t work), but now that I’m being forced out of my “comfort zone,” I’m nervous!  The specifics about my protocol were mailed to me on a calendar and then discussed over the phone with a nurse, so I think I just feel a little blind-sided.  I could call the RE, but I’m not even sure what I’d ask him…so I guess I’m just asking for help from YOU!  Has anybody used both Gonal F/Repronex and Follistim – how do they differ (response, side effects, etc.)?  What about the As.pirin/Medrol therapy – success stories?  Side effects?  Basically, is there anything I’m missing, or should ask about??

November 13, 2009

What do college professors and powerlifters have in common?

Posted in Life, Work at 5:45 pm by lifebytheday

Nothing…except that both groups are having their annual conference/competition in the Riviera Hotel in Vegas!  I have to tell you, the dichotomy is amazing.  😉  LOL!

Anyways, just a quick hello from Sin City.  After one of the worst flights of my life – picture 90 degrees, a 6’5″/250lb seatmate, and a woman cackling over her DVD for SIX HOURS – the trip has definitely improved.  I’ve met some interesting folks, hung out with colleagues from our West Coast office, and done a lot of schmoozing.  The next 12 hours will be a big dog and pony for a prospective author, so wish me luck!  It’s times like these that I appreciate the fact that I don’t have to leave babies at home when travelling for work…

May 4, 2009

Happy anniversary…

Posted in Infertility, Life, Work at 9:55 am by lifebytheday

flowers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last Friday marked my three-year anniversary with the company (well two with the original company and almost a year since the sale).  Surprisingly, my team made a pretty big deal about it, which was silly, but sort of nice.  My boss is new as of January, so we still don’t know each other all that well, but she said some very nice things about my contributions and role on the team.  She works remotely from Chicago so she wasn’t here to “celebrate” with us, but she sent out an email to the team congratulating me, and even sent flowers and a balloon. 

The best part though was lunch out with my peer co-workers.  After two beers, a burger, and fries (yum! 😉 ), I was surprised to see the waitress coming over with piece of chocolate cake with a candle in it…at which point one of my co-workers started singing a vigorous rendition of the “Happy Birthday” song.  I literally couldn’t stop laughing long enough to even blow out the candle.  Turns out, he had no idea what we were actually celebrating!  LOL  😉 

Although three years is just a blink of an eye in terms of most people’s careers, it definitely gave me cause for reflection.  I don’t tell most people this, but I’ve never really put much thought into my “career.”  All I’ve ever wanted to be “when I grew up” was a wife and a mother, and the fact that the second part of that goal has been such a struggle, has been extremely difficult for me.  I’ve been lucky to find an industry that I actually enjoy (and am pretty good at, if I do say so myself 😉 ), especially after two failed attempts.  In fact, at home on Friday night I was talking to S and asked him “did you ever think I’d be celebrating three years at the same company?”  He was like, NOPE! 😛

I’ve always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and if I’m being completely honest, I entered the “workforce” fully expecting my stay to be short-term.  I hope that I’ll always be able to keep one foot in the door – much easier with publishing than in other industries – but I feel strongly that I want to be home to raise our kids.  But  what happens if we never have those kids??  Thoughts along those lines have been what pushed me to pursue teaching.  Especially now that S and I have to assume our own insurance in order for infertility to be covered, I’m feeling like a few more doors have opened in terms of my long term career.  I don’t know whether that means teaching down the road, or putting more effort into rising in the ranks here, or something else entirely.  But whatever it is, I guess it’s time for me to stop living (or at least working) in limbo…