February 18, 2010
Just was clued into a FB update by my aforementioned friend (now 3 1/2 mos. pregnant):
xxx is exhausted. Can’t wait to try out my new pregnancy pillow tonight! Here’s hoping for a better night’s sleep!
I hadn’t seen it, but S told me about it this morning and commented:
She’s got more of a bump on her head [than her stomach]!
LOL!! I knew I loved him. 😉
February 16, 2010
So S and I didn’t really get a chance to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year – long story – but we had a nice, cuddly movie night on Saturday night, that more than made up for it. We watched Love Happens (your standard cheesy romatic comedy) and then watched the Time Traveler’s Wife. Now before I tell you how much we LOVED this movie, let me point out that I did NOT like the book.
Without giving away too much, I was annoyed that they hadn’t “fixed” him, and was saddened and depressed by how the book ended. In the movie, they took out a lot of the questions and confusing details, and made the story much more romantic (in my opinion). Whether you loved the book, hated the book, or have never even read the book…you HAVE to see this movie.
It really made me appreciate the love I have in my life (not only in my marriage, but also with my friends and family), and made me want to live each day to its absolute fullest. And it was also a great movie for a good cry. 😉 I wish that everyone might experience this kind of unconditional love…but I also wish you much easier and happier lives than the characters in this story. Here’s to happy endings – my favorite kind! 🙂
February 15, 2010
Wow, has it really been a week since I posted last?!? It certainly has been quite a week! After finding out that I got the job, I came down with a 24 hour stomach bug, and then spent the rest of the week STRESSED out. I’m stressed about finishing my current job and leaving my projects in a good place (especially since I found out they’re not filling my position until July at the earliest) and I’m stressed about learning what I’ll need to know and getting up to speed in my new position. And on top of all that, my boss was totally MIA last week – granted, she was traveling all week, but she was also totally avoiding any discussions that acknowledged that I’m leaving. Umm, hello? Just because you bury your head in the sand for two weeks doesn’t mean that I’m still going to be there when you finally look up! 😉
In other news, I got the all clear to stop Lupron and re-start the BCPs, so I guess we’re back on the bandwagon. With that said though, I think we’re going to move ahead very slowly. I want to give myself some time to get settled in my new job (these next few months are also the busiest of the selling season) and also need to work around a long-distance wedding towards the end of April, so I may delay starting stims so that we don’t run into a conflict with monitoring. It would also be nice to avoid a birth date around Christmas (for the same reason that I won’t allow an “S junior”, lol! I want our child to feel SPECIAL and unique), so maybe this is something else that is “meant to be.”
On the other hand, though, it’s hard to pass by more and more milestones, and still not be pregnant. If I have to go through another Christmas not pregnant, or turn 28 (or god forbid, 29) still not pregnant, this is really going to SUCK. The first time we did IVF, I actually wasn’t expecting it to work. The second time led to complications, so while painful (physically and emotionally), it made sense that my body wasn’t able to accept the embryo. After having our third cycle cancelled (and going on 3+ years of fertility treatments), I’m starting to feel more desperate.
I think it also has something to do with the fact that our friends have started to catch up to us in the baby-making department. S and I were really “young” when we got married, and were some of the only ones married, let alone trying to get pregnant. I’m realizing how much harder it is for me to hear pregnancy announcements now, not because I was so “strong” and handling them so well earlier, but because there really weren’t very many announcements to begin with. I sometimes think that God just wanted to give our friends (and my younger brothers) a chance to catch up, but I’m ready to get off the starting line! Let’s get going!!
February 8, 2010
$10,000 to anyone who finds me a money tree AND my missing sex drive! 😉
Seriously, if we were able to find those two things I don’t think S and I would ever fight again. LOL!
Oh, and P.S.? I GOT THE JOB!!!
February 5, 2010
So yesterday was the big day – my third and final interview (!) – where I not only had to meet with two additional managers, but also had to present a demo of one of our company’s software technologies. I think it went really well, but I’ll find out soon! Either today or Monday…although I hope it’s today. Not sure how I’ll make it through the weekend not knowing!!
The best part of yesterday’s interview? Staring into the face of one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen, lol! Picture ice blue eyes, but warm…mmmm. Seriously though, he was one of those thoughtful types, so while he paused to think of his next question, all I could do was maintain eye contact, and wait. I mean, that’s what they tell you to do, right? 😉
February 3, 2010
Yesterday was my one-year blogging anniversary, and I DIDN’T EVEN REMEMBER!! Probably still wouldn’t have, if one of my favorites hadn’t mentioned that hers was coming up soon as well. I was like “Wait, didn’t I start my blog before Jo??” 😉 Oy. I guess I just have a lot on my mind, huh?
It’s funny to go back and read my first few posts. We were still on our break from treatments, so they were much more focused on “life”…S, Bailey, our house. When I started the blog, I think I was sure I’d be pregnant by my one-year anniversary, but to be honest, this blog is probably the one reason why I’m okay that I’m not. That doesn’t really make sense, I know, and it isn’t really 100% accurate…obviously, I’m not really “okay” that I’m not pregnant. But this blog (and all of my wonderful readers) has been a way for me to express my feelings, and get support and opinions from some very smart people. People that care enough to read about my crazy thoughts and not-very-funny stories, and keep coming back for more! Seriously, are you guys gluttons for punishment, or what?? 😉
But really, this blog has been like a diary, but so much better. I can bare my soul as needed, but because I’m also writing for an audience, I find that I spend more time trying to explain my feelings, which also helps me to process and understand them. And on top of that, knowing that people are taking time out of their day to come to my little piece of the world, I feel more pressure to keep up with the blog on a regular basis. I still haven’t managed to get the post-every-day thing down pat, but I’m trying.
I also have to give S some serious credit for his support of this blog. Clearly, I’m not a real private person…I like talking about what’s going on in my life, and a good number of my real-life friends know most, if not all, of what has been going on. However, S does NOT. S would rather no one knew about anything until we showed up with a child, and that involves anything to do with our sex life, our disagreements…fill-in-the-blank. So I’ve tried to walk a fine line between fulfilling my need for release, and maintaining S’s request for privacy. Some days that balance isn’t quite right, so you’ll find me editing posts after the fact…and other days, I find myself writing in code, desperately trying to express my feelings despite my self-censor. I’m hoping that I’ll find an appropriate balance as my blog continues to develop, but for now, I just want to thank S for letting me talk about him at all!
Out of curiosity, I just went to take a look at my blog stats, and as of today, my blog has received7,777 hits. Considering that my favorite number is 7, I’d say that’s a pretty good sign, wouldn’t you? Definitely not as high as your 30,000 Jo, but in my defense, I think I’m in more of a niche market. 😉 LOL!
February 2, 2010
Hi friends! Sorry I haven’t posted for a few days…work has been absolutely crazy. I’ll be back shortly with more IF information than you’ve ever wanted to know, but in the meantime, please go read this post from Big Mama, one of my absolute favorites. She is wonderfully self-deprecating, hysterically funny, and always completely real about life with her husband and daughter. Read through a few posts, she’s a riot!
Anyways, I was on the train this morning, catching up on my blogs, and Big Mama’s post today struck me so funny that I literally laughed out loud…and then couldn’t stop!
Reminds me of the time that my father told the following joke:
A man says to his friend – “I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes! What should I do??”
His friend – “Have you seen a doctor”
The man – “No! Just spots!!”
Seriously, I know that isn’t funny, but for some reason, the first time I heard it (although admittedly much younger at the time), it struck me SO funny that I laughed for like a half an hour.
I probably would have done a similar thing with Big Mama’s post today if I hadn’t started to get “crazy lady on the train” looks. LOL!
I think I might be just a little punchy. 😛