November 29, 2010
Thanksgiving this year (and the subsequent long weekend) was wonderful…just pure bliss. S actually took the full four days off (which was a miracle in itself), and the weekend passed in a blur of sleeping in, hanging out with family, shopping, relaxing…and doing some work around the house. Yesterday I spent a few hours going through my clothes and sorting out what should be donated (i.e. I wouldn’t want to wear them even if I somehow fit back into them in a year 😉 ) and what should be packed up (summer clothes and whatever winter clothes don’t, or won’t fit). I now have a quarter of my closet and two drawers – empty! – just waiting for some new maternity clothes.
I was going to wait until after today’s appointment, but I just succumbed to Cyber Monday and bought a pair of work pants and two lounge pants. Pants are definitely the issue right now…even with the bella band, they’re just getting too tight. Which doesn’t make me feel good about the state of my @$$…but oh well, this is what I wanted, right? Besides work pants (which I luckily only need about two pairs of, since I’m at different customers every day), I really want to find a good pair of jeans. I went to GAP and tried on a few different kinds, but all of them gave me uni-butt! I’m trying to convince S that it’s worth the splurge to buy one pair of maternity 7’s, especially if I wear them every weekend for the next six months! He’s not convinced yet, but I think he will be once I can bring him shopping with me and show him swamp-@$$. 😉
Other than that, not much else going on…just counting down the hours until our appointment this afternoon. I’ll try to post an update later on today…but in the meantime, fingers crossed, okay? 🙂
Everything is A-okay!! Well, besides my husband’s mood after having to wait for an hour between the ultrasound and the (10 minute!) dr’s appointment 😉 …but everything baby related is perfect. We didn’t get any good pictures, because the baby was facing down, smooshed into the placenta…but we did get to see waving arms and legs and some wiggling around.
All of the waiting around kind of took the glow off our ultrasound-high – and it didn’t feel as monumental as I thought it would – but I guess we’re offiically in the clear (as much as we’re going to be)! I found out that my weekly counts have been a day off, so today we are 12w5d, and Wednesday marks 13 weeks! I think the end of the 13th week is officially the end of the third trimester…so technically one more week…but we’re going to relax and tell a few more people today. Although I’ll probably wait another little while before outing ourselves on FB. 😉
November 24, 2010
I’m experiencing a strange phenomenon where I’m actually getting more nervous the closer we get to the coveted end of the first trimester.
I think a large part of it is that we haven’t seen or heard the baby in several weeks. I get such a high from seeing an actual baby moving around inside of me that it keeps me aloft for days, but eventually, that bubble starts to deflate and I come back down to earth. Another issue is that I now know (although I wish I didn’t) that it is possible to have a “missed miscarriage” without any bleeding or cramping…and although I don’t actually think that has happened, I don’t think I’ll fully relax until our ultrasound next week.
The last, and strangest factor, is that I’m actually getting more nervous the more people that I tell! I am pretty obviously showing now, especially for people who know me well, and so we were sort of forced to spill the beans to several of my parents’ friends recently. And I’ve started telling other friends as I see them around town. But for some reason, I have gotten really nervous and am really not enjoying congratulations right now…I just can’t wait to be officially in our 13th or 14th week, with proof that the baby is doing well.
In other news, I just had to share this post from a fellow blogger over at Waiting for our Miracle – it is a beautifully written, brutally honest post comparing infertility to cancer. She did not (and neither do I) have any intention of minimizing the experience of cancer, but I just think that it is worth reading, and understanding, the true devastation that is infertility.
On this, the day before Thanksgiving, I am so grateful to be in a position where I can look back at my infertility journey and appreciate it for the lessons I learned and the gift I was given. But as we enter the holiday season, my thoughts and prayers are with those who are still drowning in the sea of treatments and uncertainty, and struggling to stay afloat. I hope that everyone is able to relax amongst family and friends this holiday, and appreciate the blessings that they have been given. Even at your lowest point, there is always something to be thankful for.
November 23, 2010
I’ve decided (I think!) that I want to decorate our nursery around a children’s story – just keep the bedding neutral and pull together the accessories myself – since I can’t seem to settle on any of the sets-in-a-bag!
Some of the ideas I’m liking right now:
Noah’s Ark …
And that’s as far as I’ve got! Help me!! I don’t want anything too commercial, but I still want it to be fun and fresh…any ideas??
What were your favorite stories, fairy tales, or nursery rhymes?
November 22, 2010
Genetic testing, that is…
I mentioned a few weeks ago about being completely overwhelmed by the decisions that we now have to make…and it hasn’t gotten any easier. After much discussion, S and I have decided not to pursue any genetic testing. After everything we’ve been through, S and I believe that this child is a gift directly from God, and there would be nothing that would make us consider aborting, or doing any invasive genetic testing (like an amnio or CVS) that could potentially result in miscarriage.
But the issue now is that my new OB’s office is recommending that we go through the early (NT) screening, but we haven’t yet had the opportunity to meet with a doctor to discuss (I just keep getting voicemails from the nurses about scheduling the procedure). Without going into too much detail, S has a family member that puts us at slightly higher risk for a genetic issue (not one of the biggies like down syndrome, or trisomy-18, but still relatively serious). It is completely manageable, just something that we’d have to plan for, but not something that we think we need to start worrying about at week 12.
S is concerned that I would worry myself into a miscarriage, based on a screening test that isn’t even definitive. And to be honest, although I told him I wouldn’t, I honestly don’t know how I’d feel if we got questionable news. We just feel like we deserve the chance to actually enjoy this pregnancy…
So this morning I called the OB back and officially opted out of the early screening test. We will likely do the later one (around 18 weeks), just so that we can start getting prepared…but I made it very clear where we stood on the issue moving forward. At this point, I’m just looking to my appointment (a week from today!) where we get to see the baby again, and finally meet one of the doctors. Hopefully they are supportive of our decision…
TheLittleThings – I’ve been slacking on my blogging and thanking, but in the spirit of Thanksgiving week, I want to bring this back! Today I am thankful for my husband – for his support, love, and acceptance. We have both grown so much over the past 8+ years, and I am so grateful to have him as my partner in life.
November 19, 2010
On the day we found out we were pregnant, my good friend loaned me her copy of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”...and a few weeks later, I bought “The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy”. I thought that I’d take a moment to share my impressions of both of my books, and which I would recommend.
I had heard all the standard complaints about What to Expect…, that it was alarmist, old-fashioned, etc…but my experience couldn’t be more different. I really like how it is organized, and the amount and type of information that is presented in the weekly updates. And each month’s section includes several FAQs based on what you may be going through, thinking about, etc. that are extremely helpful, and I think, reassuring. I mean, if you’re looking for a book that tells you it’s okay to drink during pregnancy, this isn’t it, but I think this really is the only book you’d ever need to have a healthy and well-informed pregnancy.
I bought the Mayo Guide based on several reviews on A.mazon, but I haven’t been as impressed with this one. It doesn’t include as much information on a monthly and weekly basis, and all of the FAQs are in a big chunk at the back so it’s hard to find – or even know! – what you’re looking for. The two things that are good (and were the main reasons that I bought the book) are the “when to call” sections (listing individual symptoms and identifying which are normal and which may be a concern) and the in-depth “decision guides” (prenatal testing, choosing an OB, whether to breastfeed, etc.). I haven’t used these sections much (thank goodness on the first count!), but I’m reassured to know that I have that information if I ever need it.
I think the bottom line is that any pregnancy book has to be treated as a guide and not as an absolute, which I think is the most important lesson that any mother or mother-to-be has to learn. There are always going to be suggestions and recommendations, some of which will be appropriate for you and/or your baby, and some that will not!
So with that said, and keeping in mind that I’ve only read up through the first trimester-ish in both books, I would definitely recommend What to Expect…
November 15, 2010
Now that I’m feeling less queasy, I’m definitely more hungry…but baby is NOT on board. I get hungry every two hours, but if I try to eat a normal amount (for dinner, etc.) I am literally in AGONY for the rest of the night. It’s almost like the baby figures out when he/she has gotten enough nutrients and then says “okay Mom, STOP!” 😛
In the grand scheme of things, stomach issues are totally manageable, but tonight I had just had enough. I had home-made leftover lasagna and meatballs waiting for me (from my aunt) and I was SO looking forward to it. I even made S pick up his own take out for dinner – he doesn’t like meatballs and I was convinced that I’d polish off the lasagna in three bites. But NOOOO, I had half a meatball and a quarter of the portion of lasagna and I was literally STUFFED. By the time S got home with his pizza I was PISSED. LOL! He was like, just leave it and have more in a little while (what a sweetheart, even after I bailed on him for dinner 🙂 )…but I’m still too full!
In case you haven’t guessed, I’m really enjoying knowing what it’s like to be pregnant (and being able to complain about it). 😉
November 11, 2010
Just got back from my first official OB appointment – and wow, was it weird! Weird good, but definitely weird. I met with a nurse, who collected my medical history, gave me a TON of information, and then ordered some lab work. I go back in 2 1/2 weeks for an ultrasound and to meet the first of the OBs. Long story short though, I LOVED the nurse, and think I’m really going to like their practice.
Today’s appointment reminded me how many decisions we need to make though, and soon! And this is really just the beginning…I think that we’ve been used to having all of the major decisions made (since we’ve been going through IF treatments for 4+ years), but now everything is new. New information, new decisions…a whole new life!
For example, if we want to do any genetic testing, the first opportunity is at 12 weeks…i.e., 2 weeks from today! I have a feeling S and I are going to have some very serious discussions over the next few days.
And now, on to our 10 WEEK UPDATE!
How am I feeling? Good! Still tired, and having headaches almost every afternoon, but no more nausea, and not as incapacitated by the tiredness.
Weight gain? -5 (up one lb in the past 2 weeks), although I’m sure that’s going to change soon – I’m getting HUNGRY! 😛
Cravings? Italian food! Pasta and cheese? Sign me up!
Aversions? Steak, and any chicken that isn’t breaded. We’ve been pretty much living on whatever I can make out of ground turkey. 😉
Milestones? Last night was our LAST progesterone shot…yippee!! The nurse today included a test in my bloodwork, just to double check, but we should be good to go. My @$$ is going to be seriously thankful.
And speaking of thankful, today I’m thankful for being “just another pregnant lady” and for getting to double digits. We are already 1/4 of the way through our pregnancy!!
November 8, 2010
I’ve been feeling pretty good recently (except for when I eat too much at a time and baby really makes me regret it!) – but the nausea is almost completely gone! Although now I’ve found something new to complain about…
The fact that I don’t really have anything to complain about!!
I’m starting to get nervous about the fact that I don’t have the constant nausea to keep me company and prove that I’m still pregnant. Since I can’t feel any movement yet, the nausea has been kind of reassuring. I know it’s crazy, and pretty twisted, but I kind of miss it. Now I’ll probably jinx myself and end up puking for the next month…but seriously, help a sister out! The only thing that makes me feel better is the definite beer belly I’ve got going on. 😉
I have a work conference on Friday where I’ll see a lot of people that know me pretty well (but who I haven’t seen since I took my new job last March), and I’m nervous about the clothing situation. I don’t really care that I have a belly, but I don’t want to have to tell everyone yet…
I’m thinking a shirt dress with a long sleeve shirt and tights underneath? It’s really COLD in Boston, but all of my dress pants and sweaters are like “hello bump!” And I don’t think any of my suits will fit anymore…at least not for a 10 hour day. Ugh. I’m so not buying new clothes yet, there’s still a LOT of belly growing to go! 😉
Almost forgot! Despite all the complaining, I am SO thankful that I haven’t been feeling sick, and that I’m actually getting to experience a growing belly. Thank you Lord.
November 6, 2010
Last night S and I decided to go see a movie. I owe him for at least two times when we tried to do dinner and a movie, and by the time we finished dinner I was so exhausted that we had to go home. LOL! So yesterday I had made crock-pot chili – which the baby loved, strangely enough – so we finished up with dinner early and decided to go out.
We went to see The Town – which was actually pretty good – and as I was going to the bathroom on the way out (for the third time since we had arrived), I looked at my watch and noticed that it was 9:45. Just as I was saying to myself how proud I was that we had stayed out ’til almost 10 o’clock, I overheard two girls as they were walking in saying “it’s still so early!” LOLOL!!!
I walked out of the bathroom laughing and told S, and he laughed and gave me a squeeze. Even if we are really lame right now, we’re loving our life exactly as it is. 🙂 And we’re so thankful for the chance to be pregnant and lame. 😉
November 3, 2010
Add today to the list of amazing experiences…
As you know, today was our follow up ultrasound to investigate the “something” they found at last week’s appointment. So S and I took the hour and a half trek (during morning rush hour) into Boston – making me seriously appreciate our decision to deliver at the nearby hospital – and arrived with just enough time to find the new office.
First weird moment of the day was S and I sitting amongst a sea of big pregnant bellies. I kept saying to him, “I belong here, right??” The one thing that was really nice was that the gynecological and obstetric portions of the practice actually had two separate waiting rooms…something that a fertile woman would probably never notice, but made a big impression on me.
We were called in and I was told that they’d actually be doing an EXTERNAL ultrasound. I don’t think that anyone who isn’t intimately familiar with the dildo-cam could ever fully understand how exciting this was…that honestly was the moment when I felt like I had MADE IT. 😛
So I whipped out the belly and we proceeded to look at a perfectly healthy baby…with arms and legs…that was MOVING! Seeing our baby stretch its legs and wave its hand was seriously the most amazing moment ever…10x better better than hearing the heartbeat even! It just made it feel so real that S and I were literally walking on air for the rest of the day. And the best part was that they couldn’t find anything abnormal or extra (and yes, they brought out Mr. Dildo-Cam to double check), so we’re officially in the clear!
I’ll try to convince S to let me post the u/s pictures later, but for now, I’ll leave you with my TheLittleThings thankfulness for today – that technology exists to let us see our baby at 9 weeks old, and to reassure us that everything is a-ok! 😀