January 4, 2010
Hi friends! Sorry I went MIA for so long…I literally did not turn on my computer for the entire last week (just spent the morning catching up on your blogs – great stuff)! A lot happened over the past week, along with a lot of thinking and talking with S. I definitely have some revelations and resolutions to share, but first, a quick update.
Christmas was only so-so for me. After a stressful Christmas Eve getting ready for company (while S celebrated with his coworkers – much deserved, but still annoying), I still wasn’t in the holiday spirit by the time my family arrived for dinner. We all went to mass after dinner and ended up stuck at the mass with the children’s Christmas pageant (a live nativity reenactment). We used to go to that mass regularly, but now that we’re all a bit older, we have been trying to choose a mass more suited to us. The sermon at the pageant mass is more tailored to the younger folks, and the mass is just much longer in general, which drives my brothers and husband crazy. Little did I know that I would be the one who had a real problem with it this year…
Right as our deacon was reading “…and Mary had a baby…and laid him in a manger” and the couple with the newest baby in the parish brought her up to the alter and handed her to the terrified pre-teen…I LOST IT. Hysterical sobbing (thank God I was quiet), at which point S just hugged me, and my parents looked over awkwardly not knowing what to say or do. The rest of the night went downhill. I was never able to get into the holiday spirit this year, and I think a huge part of it is the fact that it Christmas is the celebration of the birth of a child…which still hasn’t happened for us. I really am feeling more hopeful about this next round (stim shots begin on Jan. 13th), but sometimes it just hits me. When S and I were married, we promised that we would have children to add to our Catholic family, and I just don’t know why we haven’t been able to! My constant prayer has now become “God, I know you want us to have children…please help us!”
So anyways, it was an emotional holiday. Christmas morning with S and the animals was fantastic, but the rest of the day was just annoying. My parents were super stressed all day, since they were responsible for cooking dinner (most of it, we do pot-luck with the sides), but then we were all expected at my aunt’s for dessert. For the two weeks before Christmas, I told everyone that we were not going to join them for dessert, because I knew that it would be major drama for all of us to schlepp over there, but on the day, I caved in so that my mom would not feel torn. It was just as annoying as I expected, but I tried to make the best of it for my family.
Then, on the following Monday, S and I left for our winter vacation in the White Mountains of NH. As soon as we arrived, we took off for a snowmobile tour, which was AWESOME! I didn’t think I’d like it as much as I did…I even drove the sled for a while! It was a beautiful drive – started snowing halfway through our trip, that perfect fluffy snow that coats all of the trees – and it was really fun to be cuddled up to S. Who cares that we smelled like a gas tank afterwards, right? The rest of Monday involved a nap and late dinner (but an early night because I had heartburn). Tuesday did not go as well.
We had planned to go skiing (on the coldest day of the year, figures) and only made it two hours before I lost it (even bundled up to our eyes, I was so cold that I was crying as I was skiing down the mountain) and S lost it with me for ruining his day (although he did later admit that he was FREEZING and that the mountain didn’t have enough trails for our skill level). Needless to say, it was a long, quiet afternoon in the hotel room before he “defrosted.” Our last morning was fantastic – a huge breakfast, followed by ice skating and a couples massage before heading home. Although it wasn’t a totally drama-free trip, it was definitely some much needed time together. I think it took a while for us to figure out how to just BE together, but by Sunday night, I definitely had realized what I’d be losing once the work week began.
I woke up Thursday in a funk, and spent a lot of the day just moping around the house before heading off to some of our best friends’ house for their annual NYE party. This year we were able to bring Bailey (which was much appreciated – thanks J&S!) – she had been moping around with me after leaving my parents’ house, so it was nice to be able to keep her with us. We ended up having a blast (as we always do!), and didn’t even wake up too hung over! Success 😉
Friday night S and I went to see Avatar (fantastic, go see it, and definitely in 3D!) and then on Saturday we went out for Thai food and a few drinks to celebrate our last night together. I finally went grocery shopping on Sunday (and planned a few new crock-pot meals to try – I’ll let you know if they’re any good), and S and I spent the afternoon watching movies. All in all, it was a low-key, recharging kind of vacation, and hopefully is just the beginning of S and I making more time for each other and really connecting in the coming weeks.
We talked a lot about plans for 2010, but since this is already a ridiculously long post, I guess I’ll save those for tomorrow. 😉 Wishing you all a happy Monday – hope it hasn’t been too painful so far!
October 15, 2009
I had blogging ideas all lined up for the next few days, and then…life happened. My little bro is having some trouble in his first semester of college, so we’re all trying to rally around to help him. Any post that I would write today would sound snarky and depressed, so I’m taking a rain check. I’ll be back soon, hopefully with my good humor intact!
August 4, 2009
A few things have happened recently to make me really appreciate and value family. I got a call last night that my (very healthy) grandfather was in ICU with pneumonia, after falling out of bed and being stuck there for hours, and also possibly having suffered a minor heart attack. He’s fine, but very shaken up. This is all after S got a call a week ago that his mom was very sick, in the hospital with pneumonia, a lung infection, chest infection, and a bleeding ulcer. It was not looking good for a while there, so he rushed to Ireland last Sunday and was there until things started to turn around a few days later. Needless to say, it’s been a stressful – and scary! – few days.
And I don’t know about you, but events like this do not bring out the best in either of our families. S’s family is a bit volatile (interesting history there) and pretty dramatic…this one doesn’t talk to the other one, etc….and tends to keep lots of secrets. It turns out that his mom had actually been in the hospital a few weeks earlier – for a week! – with a blood clot in her leg, and we didn’t find out about it until she got home. So when we found out that she was in the hospital (but was “fine”), we had no way of knowing whether we were getting the whole story. Add all that to the fact that (as the youngest sibling) S’s family still thinks he’s sixteen – and consistently treats him like he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, like he’s still a selfish, immature teenager. I know it’s just jealousy, but it’s mean and hurtful, and it’s so hard to stand by and not be able to do anything about it.
My extended family is slightly less dysfunctional, but equally dramatic, so I wasn’t quite sure what we were in for with this latest episode. My grandfather is the lynchpin of the family – my grandmother passed away four years ago, extremely unexpectedly – and we (my mother, her brothers and sisters, and their families) all rallied around my grandfather. In fact, he did not have a dinner at home by himself for almost two years! So this really scared everybody – we’re just not ready for Grampy to go anywhere. Almost my entire extended family was there at his side in a heartbeat, and didn’t go anywhere until they were reassured that yes, he really was okay.
For two different reasons – the fact that my family can really rally round when needed, and S’s family not so much – these episodes have made me realize just how much I want a family of my own. I’m ready for my family – me, S, and our babies. I want to create a family with S, out of our love, our values, our goals. I want to have children who will be there for us when we’re old. I want to raise decent human beings who love, respect, and enjoy life. Bailey has shown us how much we love having someone to love and take care of (and has also shown us the value of compromise ;-)), but we’re ready for some human babies!
May 5, 2009
As I mentioned before, we had S’s family here for a visit around Easter – S’s mom, sister, and nephew. We had a lovely time, but no one enjoyed it more than Bailey. She had her very own BOY to play with! (and vice versa 😉 )
Is there any sweeter sight than a boy with his dog?
April 29, 2009
As I mentioned before, I have some fun stories to share from the past few weeks…
On Easter, my uncle brought S a very special bottle of Irish whisky. And S promptly hid it for later so that he wouldn’t have to share. 😉
Later in the day, we convinced him to bring it out…but the bottle had other ideas.
This is S and my dad determining which law of physics will enable them to be drinking whiskey in the next five minutes…they’re often partners in crime.
One of my favorite stories of the two of them is from the first New Year’s Eve after I had met S. My dad decided that S’s Budweiser taste needed a little culture, and so set out to indocrinate him to the taste of scotch. That particular night, my dad poured two scotches, and tried to convince S to try it. After S refused, Dad drank his and then S’s…couldn’t let it go to waste! A little while later, Dad tried again, and again ended up drinking both! The night pretty much progressed from there, until around 11:30 when my mom found my dad asleep on the bathroom rug. LOL!
Here’s Dad again, after they got it open…entirely too proud of himself. 😉
And this is the rest of the family (and yes, we realize that everyone is wearing blue). 😉 Look, Dad couldn’t even wait for the toast! LOL. All in all, it was a great afternoon and a very happy Easter. 🙂