April 26, 2012
Sickness, separation anxiety and #2?
Phew. Last week was a doozy…A’s first ear infection, which took until day 4 of a fever for the ped. to diagnose, and the simultaneous beginning of mommy separation anxiety. Which was funny, and flattering, but exhausting!
I honestly thought that we had dodged that bullet, and had mixed feelings about it. I knew that it was a common phase, and as his primary caregiver, I was kind of wondering why he hadn’t developed that attachment yet. I chalked it up to the fact that my mom and aunt are his two other regular visitors, and we all have very similar voices and mannerisms…but I was secretly a little upset. Then I got a little cocky thinking that he was just SO secure and probably wasn’t going to go through it at all, and boy did that come back to bite me. With his ear infection he was the most uncomfortable when he laid down, so we went through four or five days where I probably held him for 20 out of every 24 hours. I was EXHAUSTED, and surprisingly sore! He’s a big boy. 😉 He finally turned a corner yesterday, and after (both of us!) took good afternoon naps, we were almost back to normal.
Yesterday was also my first time back at a regular gynecologist in I don’t know how many years…probably five? Usually the RE would just roll in my pap with all of the other insurance-required testing, so I never felt the need to see another doctor. I mostly set up this appointment to start building a relationship with the doctor I wanted as my OB “next time”. I know, don’t burst my bubble. But seriously, it was so refreshingly quick and easy! And interestingly, my doctor pointed out that after I stop breast-feeding that I’ll be at my most fertile, and that I might even get in a few ovulatory cycles before my PCOS kicks back in. I know that we’ve all heard that before, and that I really shouldn’t get my hopes up, but I was a bit surprised that he thought I might be able to get a few real cycles in.
I’ve always known that we’d try for a second at some point down the road, but thought it would be a while before I could convince S. After the downs scare we had and everything we had to go through with A’s surgery, S was pretty sure that he only wanted one. But the older that A got, the more and more S would make comments here and there about giving A a brother or sister…and finally a month or two ago, we decided for sure that we’d be trying for a second relatively soon. We have two big weddings in September and October, and I’m kind of looking forward to having a few months “off” between breastfeeding and fertility treatments. So right now, it’s looking like we’ll “try” on our own over the summer – it’ll be the summer of $ex, ha! – and then go back to the RE in September to start the pre-IVF testing up again.
I’m under NO delusions that it’s going to be easy this time around, but I honestly think that knowing that we are able to get pregnant will take some of the stress out of the whole process. And at the end of every day, I get to come home and cuddle my little boy. It all seems a little abstract right now, so for the time being, I’m just going to focus on weaning my little man and enjoying our summer! There’s plenty of time for worrying later. 😉