May 18, 2011

Perspective

Posted in Pregnancy tagged , at 9:22 pm by lifebytheday

I was just about to write a post complaining about my doctor’s appointment (everything is fine, just frustrating), when I got some news that made me take stock of how lucky we really are.

One of the girls in my prenatal exercise class just lost her baby (no heartbeat) at almost seven months.

S and I feel absolutely sick, not only for what she must be going through, but because we know how differently our story could have ended.

Yes, our baby has a birth defect (which also makes me sick to my stomach), but he is going to be fixed as good as new and will get a chance to grow up healthy and strong.  There hasn’t been a minute of this pregnancy that we have taken for granted, but it has been eye opening to realize how far you can get in a pregnancy and still have things go wrong.  I am so grateful to God that he has kept our baby safe, even despite a little developmental “oopsie” (as our surgeon called it). 

So with all that said, I’ll just give you guys a quick update…

Baby boy is still growing with a nice, strong heartbeat, so the doctors are thinking that they’ll wait to induce me until 39 weeks.  Yes, that means TWO MORE WEEKS.  I honestly don’t mind dealing with contractions and being uncomfortable for another two weeks, especially if it means that he is bigger and better able to get through surgery, but I really don’t know if I’m going to be able to maintain my sanity for that long. 

I am so anxious to have his surgery behind us that it’s literally keeping me up at night.  We have no way of knowing how his recovery is going to go (eating, breastfeeding, how long he’ll be in the NICU, etc.) until he gets here and they do the formal diagnosis and his actual surgery.  And I don’t do well with not knowing.

We met with a lactation consultant and got a NICU tour this afternoon, and while both appointments went well, I was really looking for answers that they just couldn’t provide.  So even though we left with some good information – and proof that the NICU is not as scary as we were imagining – I just couldn’t shake my bad mood.  Until I got home and God gave me a good ‘ole dope slap. 

So with that said, I’m going to give S an extra hug and baby boy an extra rub and thank God for my family and our health.  I know you guys don’t know her, but would you keep M and her husband in your thoughts and prayers over the next few days?

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11 Comments »

  1. Em said,

    Prayers are going up right now for you, baby boy, and S. As well as M and her husband. I can’t even begin to imagine… I’ve been moping around lately about really dumb stuff and this post just put stuff in perspective for ME. Please know you are in my prayers!! 🙂

  2. Kari said,

    How heartbreaking for the woman in your class. 😦

    I hope the next two weeks fly by and you’re able to get some sleep. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. It’s hard not to have answers or know what to expect. You will have the best team of doctors there for you with all the answers when Baby Boy arrives I’m sure. Hang in there Mama!!

  3. jobo said,

    Wow, that is so tragic. The second person I’ve heard in the last week that has a friend that lost a baby that late in the pregnancy. Makes my heart heavy. My prayers are with M and her family and always always with you and your family too my dear! I can’t wait to meet your little man, and I know in my heart he will be as good as new after the ‘oopsie’ surgery is over. XOXO hugs hugs hugs!

  4. Ashley said,

    How awful for your friend.

    I know it’s tough, but try your best to get some sleep! In just two weeks your little man will be here which is so amazing. I will be thinking about you guys!

  5. Wifey said,

    Oh that’s horrible, we will for sure keep them in our prayers.

    I’m sorry for frustrating appointments and the lack of answers but just trust that your instincts will kick in when they need to and all it will all work out. I am the same way about wanting answers and a plan but sometimes you just have to go with it. Keeping you in our prayers and praying that your son gets his grow on in the next 2 weeks so he can show them how good of a fighter he is!!

  6. Griffin Lamb said,

    Hi,
    I’m a first-time commentor but have read most of your blog. Thank you for sharing so openly and being a source of inspiration. I noticed that you experienced (I think ) severe internal bleeding and were transfused after an ER. The same happened to me on my first cycle! It was a very painful disaster with a midnight transfusion after I collaposed on my bedroom floor and was carried out by stretcher. The doctor who did my ER is no longer at my practice, but I’ve had a very long road since with no success….Yet (I’m holding out hope for Cycle #5). Would you mind sharing where you were for cycle #1. I’m just curious if we were at the same place (RSC). We’re both in the Boston area, but I have the opposite problem (high FSH for my age).
    Griffin Lamb

    • lifebytheday said,

      Hi Griffin, thanks for commenting!
      I went to RSC for my first two cycles, but did my last three at Mass General. I didn’t always like the team approach, but I think that in my case, many heads did make a difference. Wishing you luck!

  7. JessSutera said,

    This just makes my heart hurt so much for your friend. I’ve been sending prayers their way since I read this last night. I’m also praying for you and S – that the next couple of weeks will go by smoothly and that baby boy will be strong and come through surgery like a champ (I know he will, he’s got great genes!). Love you both!

  8. sienna said,

    there really is nothing like perspective. that is soo utterly devastating for your friend. i feel like an a$$ that i’m sitting here like “where is my baby!!??” when ppl have real problems and i’m just watching tv/reading on these last days. i know the next 2 weeks will go by soo slowly for you, but baby boy is going to get nice and big during that time and how great is that going to be? he’ll be in the best shape for this upcoming surgery … i haven’t mentioned it before bc i’m not sure of the relevance, but my BIL had a blockage in his intestines when he was born. it took them a few months to figure it out though, bc he wasn’t keeping down any formula and kept losing weight, but surgery cured him right up. i’m so glad your baby’s blockage was found right away, so they know what to do from the getgo. you’re in the best of hands, so just remember that mommabear :o)

  9. Connie said,

    Prayers for you and yours that all continues to go well. Extra special mercy prayer for your friend…. “Someday, all reasons for all things will be revealed to us if we just have faith”…. God Bless you. 🙂

  10. Amy said,

    I have a friend who would call this a “p-jolt” — when you are jolted out of yourself by a dose of perspective. But life continues to move along, doesn’t it? I’m so sorry for M, and can’t begin to imagine what she and her husband are going through. Luckily they have friends like you in their support community. Extra hugs and belly rubs all around! 🙂


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