April 18, 2011

Oh look, there’s the wall!

Posted in Pregnancy at 10:34 am by lifebytheday

And I’ve officially hit it. 

Despite plans for not much…the weekend ended up being pretty rough.  I have felt off since Friday…super exhausted and really uncomfortable.  I also think that what I’ve thought was just the baby moving into an awkward position has actually been Braxton-Hicks contractions all along.  This weekend they got a lot more uncomfortable – and add in the exhaustion and I just felt out of sorts. 

Saturday morning I had a haircut appointment at 8am, which somehow tired me out so much that I had to take a nap as soon as I got home.  Then Saturday night we went to a party at my cousin’s where I barely made it an hour and a half before having to leave and go to bed.  On Sunday, I was so sick of being at home that I pushed through and went out shopping with my mom (which was probably more than I should have done).  Both S and I were in major need of some new clothes – S because he wears them out (yes, he’s my first child 😉 ), and me because I have officially outgrown almost all of my maternity clothes. 

I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I had gotten pregnant with twins – or what all of you twin mommies did! – but I seriously DO NOT FIT into clothes anymore.  I know that my pregnancy has concentrated in my belly (which I appreciate baby, thank you! 😉 ) but that, combined with the fact that I have a small frame and am carrying really low, means that clothes either fit my boobs and shoulders or my belly, but never both. 

My mom and I braved the local Destination Maternity and I literally tried on every article of clothing in the store.  I never thought that I would see the day where I was frustrated by the size and shape of my pregnant body, but I hit that wall yesterday.  Which then made me feel really overwhelmed and emotional…because I really love everything about my body, I just don’t know how to dress it! 

Even the things that were loose and blousy weren’t big enough (!), and when I went up a size, my boobs fell out.  And the thought of buying a bunch of expensive clothes and then having to have them tailored totally sent me over the edge.  I ended up finding a few dresses and tops that sort of worked and I’m hoping that they’ll get me through the next few weeks where I have to be out in public.  Once we hit May, I’ll probably be switching to yoga pants and t-shirts for the rest of my pregnancy.

I honestly never thought that I would reach the point where I felt fat and unattractive, but with all of the crazy hormones running through my body, not fitting into clothes takes on a whole other dimension.  I’m not looking for compliments or reassurances – although they definitely wouldn’t be refused, lol – but I’m just trying to be honest.  I know that all of my weight is in my belly – and I thank God for the fact that that means I have a healthy baby growing big and strong in there – but it’s starting to get a little old.  Seriously, the belly is starting to look a bit obscene, and I still have 7 more weeks to go!

Yikes…I just realized what I wrote!  I know that the next 7 weeks are going to fly by, and I’m going to try and focus on cooking this baby healthy and strong, no matter how big I get – as long as I don’t end up having to go nude! 

Thanks for listening while I shook off my grumpies… 😉

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8 Comments »

  1. my infertile confessions said,

    Oh wow… 7 weeks! Your amost done and doing great! Hang in there! And yes, I do get worried about how big my twin belly is going to get! Its going to be august when I deliver my boys, so I figure I’ll be floating in the pool most of the summer and then in stretchy sun dresses the rest of the time 😉

  2. jsutera654 said,

    You are TOTALLY allowed to feel the way you do, my friend. Don’t feel like you need to apologize for it, seriously. You have a LOT going on in that body of yours, it’s got to be a lot to take on. And you’ve done it SO well up until this point. Seriously. And, I know you aren’t looking for compliments, but SERIOUSLY you looked gorgeous on Friday when we had lunch. Glowing and healthy and alive. With a beautiful baby in that belly of yours, I just know it. Hang in there…xoxoxo

  3. Ashley said,

    You look amazing! You are also having a boy. 🙂 If you aren’t going to tell me in advance I’m going off of old wives tales and you carrying boyishly.

    You also have every right to complain. No matter how you got there, it is hard to see your body like that, it really is and you are such a tiny person with a big belly I’m sure you are very uncomfortable. Yoga pants and t-shirts are a great idea. Don’t even buy maternity shirts, just wear mens shirts, I’m serious. You will feel so much better! I am a complete freak and even at 37 weeks with twins I was only wearing maternity pants but not tops. I wore a shirt from the juniors section of Kohl’s to one of my showers at 32 weeks and people were freaked out. But at home, it was hubby’s shirts 24/7!

    Again, I thought your last picture was beyond adorable. It’s normal to be emotional and tired and feeling yucky right now so hang in there!

  4. D said,

    Just think in 7 weeks ALL of that weight will be gone! That’s what got me through it, reminding myself that in the end will be this beautiful baby and the lbs will come off as soon as the baby is out (lucky you, you are just all belly!). You’re doing great, stay busy, stay focused and before you know it delivery day will be here. And I had a premonition the other day, I saw you and Shane with a bouncing baby boy… 🙂

  5. jobo said,

    What D said! 7 weeks and it’s ova! 😉 (that’s sort of my motto right now with my job…hehe, when my boss is back). I’m sure you are getting close to the end of your rope but you have done an amazing job so far and a mini meltdown here and there is still commendable 😉 and you are a hot mama! 🙂

  6. sienna said,

    i hear you completely. i hit a wall this weekend too. didn’t help that we had to go to a wedding saturday night and didn’t get home till midnight. i was supposed to be *in* the wedding, but bailed months ago when my contrax started. thank. god. that is all i can say, bc the bride ended up being a bridezilla and the other girls were up since 6am and they looked like hell by the time the night was over. anyhoo, getting back on subject. i have nothing left to wear but couldn’t brave the stores, so placed a big order at destination maternity on the internet. they have these jersey tanks that are super duper long and still cover me completely, although i do look slutty on top bc my boobs are so big now. but i guess if i had to choose, i’d choose having my belly covered over my boobs?? i want to spend the next 6-7 weeks in bed, watching tv and having someone feed me grapes. just going to work is absolutely torture these days.

  7. nobabyruth said,

    I think you are still looking absolutely fabulous!! It definitely looks like everything has gone to your belly, but I think that’s probably good news in the long run. I think that the fitted, stretchy tops are the best bet – they cover you up better (because you can get your normal size) but also fit the belly. AND I think they make the belly look the cutest anyway – accentuating all of the curves. 🙂

  8. iamstacey said,

    It’s too funny, I know it’s frustrating but I remember feeling exactly the same way! When I first bought maternity clothes, I thought they were sooo huge. But everyone kept telling me, oh, you only have a little longer to wear that! I’d look at them like they were crazy. But they were right! By the end, there were just a pair of sweats and two maternity pants that still fit, and all my maternity tops were tight, and I had to wear my husband’s shoes! But I’d be damned if I was going to buy a whole new wardrobe for just a few weeks, so I managed to get by. I was pretty uncomfortable at the end, though!


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