April 18, 2011
Oh look, there’s the wall!
And I’ve officially hit it.
Despite plans for not much…the weekend ended up being pretty rough. I have felt off since Friday…super exhausted and really uncomfortable. I also think that what I’ve thought was just the baby moving into an awkward position has actually been Braxton-Hicks contractions all along. This weekend they got a lot more uncomfortable – and add in the exhaustion and I just felt out of sorts.
Saturday morning I had a haircut appointment at 8am, which somehow tired me out so much that I had to take a nap as soon as I got home. Then Saturday night we went to a party at my cousin’s where I barely made it an hour and a half before having to leave and go to bed. On Sunday, I was so sick of being at home that I pushed through and went out shopping with my mom (which was probably more than I should have done). Both S and I were in major need of some new clothes – S because he wears them out (yes, he’s my first child 😉 ), and me because I have officially outgrown almost all of my maternity clothes.
I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I had gotten pregnant with twins – or what all of you twin mommies did! – but I seriously DO NOT FIT into clothes anymore. I know that my pregnancy has concentrated in my belly (which I appreciate baby, thank you! 😉 ) but that, combined with the fact that I have a small frame and am carrying really low, means that clothes either fit my boobs and shoulders or my belly, but never both.
My mom and I braved the local Destination Maternity and I literally tried on every article of clothing in the store. I never thought that I would see the day where I was frustrated by the size and shape of my pregnant body, but I hit that wall yesterday. Which then made me feel really overwhelmed and emotional…because I really love everything about my body, I just don’t know how to dress it!
Even the things that were loose and blousy weren’t big enough (!), and when I went up a size, my boobs fell out. And the thought of buying a bunch of expensive clothes and then having to have them tailored totally sent me over the edge. I ended up finding a few dresses and tops that sort of worked and I’m hoping that they’ll get me through the next few weeks where I have to be out in public. Once we hit May, I’ll probably be switching to yoga pants and t-shirts for the rest of my pregnancy.
I honestly never thought that I would reach the point where I felt fat and unattractive, but with all of the crazy hormones running through my body, not fitting into clothes takes on a whole other dimension. I’m not looking for compliments or reassurances – although they definitely wouldn’t be refused, lol – but I’m just trying to be honest. I know that all of my weight is in my belly – and I thank God for the fact that that means I have a healthy baby growing big and strong in there – but it’s starting to get a little old. Seriously, the belly is starting to look a bit obscene, and I still have 7 more weeks to go!
Yikes…I just realized what I wrote! I know that the next 7 weeks are going to fly by, and I’m going to try and focus on cooking this baby healthy and strong, no matter how big I get – as long as I don’t end up having to go nude!
Thanks for listening while I shook off my grumpies… 😉