February 16, 2011
Why can’t I just be ignorant…
I know that the other IFers out there understand all too well the dilemma of knowing TOO much about everything that could possibly go wrong over the course of a pregnancy. Up until now, I haven’t really focused on the negative possibilities – thank God, I haven’t had any reason to – but I never realized how close to the surface my worries really were.
I spent yesterday in a mild state of panic because I had back and belly pain which my pregnancy books described as symptoms of early LABOR. After laying down on my side for a little while, the pain went away and I tried to convince myself that I had just pulled a muscle. Then I spent the afternoon and evening worrying because my stomach felt tighter than normal and the baby wasn’t moving around at all…which culminated in my drinking a big glass of cranberry juice at ten o’clock, just to make sure s/he was okay before I went to bed.
I feel better today…and little miss or mister is keeping me company as I write this post…but I never realized how SCARY the not-knowing would be. I think I’m a little gun-shy after my last experience with the ER…I don’t want to end up being the pregnant woman who cried wolf, but I equally don’t want to ignore something real! I’ve just decided to try lying down on my side for a while before making any decisions to call, and I think I was right to do that yesterday.
I think all of the worry came to a head because a few of the bloggers I follow are dealing with pre-term labor issues (granted, they are both pregnant with twins), and I know people in real life (and of course reality tv stars) who have had babies right around the gestational age our baby is now. I know that there is NO REASON why there would be anything that causes me to go into pre-term labor, but UGH! I just want a healthy baby in my arms at the end of all of this. I guess the worry never really ends though, even after the baby is born…right moms? 😉