January 5, 2011
You all know by now that I’m not a very superstitious person, but lately I’ve been realizing that some strange things are making me nervous.
And this is after all of the things that should have made me superstitious but didn’t:
- starting to decorate the nursery (I mean, I painted before we were even pregnant!)
- ditto for buying a diaper bag pre-BFP
- talking/telling people about the baby during the first trimester
- posting our news on FB
- starting a registry very early
- even talking with my mom about my baby shower, already
But these are some of the things that I’ve been superstitious about:
- calling the priest that prayed for us to tell him we’re expecting (I called him when I was about 8 weeks and left a message, but got too nervous to return his message and call back!)
- writing an email to my old boss and friend (she finally found out and emailed me…but seriously, why could I post it on FB, and not write an email??)
- and this is the doozy – giving/throwing away my infertility meds.
Every day, I see them at the bottom of my cabinet and every day I say to myself “I should really go through those…” At first, I was waiting until we made it through the first trimester, even though I had no real reason to doubt that we would…and now? I don’t know what I’m waiting for.
It’s not like I really want the reminder of all of that pain and frustration, but for some reason, I don’t feel like I will ever be a “normal” pregnant woman, and somehow having those meds reminds me that I’m not. Super twisted, I know.