October 24, 2010
Tap, tap…is this thing on?
Pregnancy after infertility is a lonely place.
I don’t mean to imply that I’m lonely, I have an amazing support system in real life…but it’s become very obvious to me that I no longer “belong” in the IF community, at least not in the same way. It’s almost like as soon as you’re identified as “pregnant”, then you lose all credibility in terms of how much you’ve suffered to get there.
I don’t want to seem like a hypocrite – I vividly remember not being able to follow or comment on the blogs of the newly pregnant – but it’s been kind of eye-opening. I know that it’s hard to hear about people who have reached their goal when you’re still struggling to get there, but it’s just amazing to me how divisive TTC and children can be. You would think that women would want to stick together, but there’s so much judgement, jealousy and guilt that it just seems to take over.
I would like to think that if we hadn’t gotten pregnant this cycle, that I could have continued to follow TTC and pregnant bloggers, but honestly, I don’t know. I think part of it is natural, that we look for people that are the “same” as us…but there’s definitely another – more emotional and insidious – layer to this issue.
I sincerely wish that everyone who is reading this blog is able to have the family that they desire…and that your relationships become strengthened through the challenge of infertility. Prayers and best wishes to all.