September 20, 2010
No drama, but still not much hope…
Our transfer was yesterday morning and, compared to the previous cycle, it literally couldn’t have been more different.
The day started out better from the moment we got in the car…last time I spent the whole drive worrying about why they were having me do a 3-day (vs. 5-day) transfer, and whether any of our embryos had survived to transfer. This time, I knew that we’d be doing a 3-day transfer (apparently, when assisted hatching is involved, transfers are always on the third day – at least at my clinic – something I definitely wish they had told me before). And for some reason, I wasn’t even all that worried that our three embryos wouldn’t have developed…I definitely was hoping and praying (to the best of my ability) for at least two good ones, but I didn’t feel the same deep worry in the pit of my stomach.
I think part of why we were able relax and focus on something other than our upcoming transfer was because S and I felt united and comfortable with our decision to transfer two embryos (vs. waffling and worrying last cycle), and because we knew what to expect once we got there. So, we spent most of yesterday’s drive into the hospital debriefing and laughing about the pub crawl we had been on (don’t worry, I was the DD) with some of our besties the day before. And this time I took my second Valium (hint – to relax all of the muscles) in the parking garage before we walked up to the office, so by the time they were ready for me I was nice and relaxed. 😉
Once we got in, we weren’t rushed right into the OR, but had a moment to relax and joke about my loopy-ness and S’s request to keep his sterile suit for a painting uniform. ;-P And we once again won the RE-lottery and got one of the sweetest, calmest doctors to do the transfer (who even had nice soothing music playing in the background). And instead of the embryologist from hell, we had another nice woman who let the RE tell us about our embies.
Are you ready for this? Drumroll please…..
We had two 8-celled embryos to transfer, one of which was described as “perfect” quality!
The other one was described as “fine” but they explained that 8-celled is exactly where they want embryos to be at day 3 (that if they grow too fast, that’s almost as bad as if they grow too slowly). And just for comparison, last time we had two average quality embryos, one 8-celled and one 10-celled. Our other embryo was 9-cells yesterday so they’re letting it continue to develop and if it becomes a good quality blast it will be frozen. I’m not holding out much hope there, but it was nice to hear that all three of our fertilized embryos had developed.
We left feeling…not quite hopeful, but peaceful…and the rest of the day was equally good. I took a nice little Valium nap on the drive home and S stopped to pick us up Irish breakfast sandwiches (picture a huge Sunday breakfast rolled into a sub 😉 ) and the fixings for a big Sunday dinner. I promptly parked myself on the recliner in the living room while S cleaned the house, and then some of our best friends came over to watch Sunday football. Honestly, the day couldn’t have been better or more relaxing.
I’m still having a hard time feeling hopeful, or really connecting with these embryos as potential babies, but I know that’s just my self-preservation talking. I’m working from home today so that I can do one more day of bed rest (although, I’m kind of convinced that I already ruined my chances due to some violent sneezing last night). I know, I’ve lost my mind. Anyways, at this point, the only thing getting me through these next two weeks is our planned vacation to wine country in early October – and the fact that we’ll know either way by the time we go! Celebration or self-medication…either way, wine country’s a great place to do that, right?