August 3, 2010

Good distractions

Posted in Infertility, Life at 9:27 am by lifebytheday

I met with my therapist again yesterday and, again, learned a lot. 

At one point, I was telling her about my meltdown last week and said “and I just LOST it” and she interrupted me.  “You didn’t ‘lose’ it, you experienced the deep sadness and grief that you are feeling.”  She focuses a lot on changing up language and therefore perception, and this was one more place where she forced me to give myself a break.

The other thing that we talked a lot about was ways to distract myself from the bone-deep sadness I’ve been feeling.  I sort of thought that keeping my mind occupied was a cop out – avoiding or ignoring the real issue – but she said that processing these emotions is going to take time, that there’s nothing else that I can do to make it happen more quickly, and that sometimes the best thing to do is just take a break from the sadness.

So I’m looking for ideas for good distractions.  I love to read and did a lot of that this weekend (Stealing Fire by Jo Graham and Stay by Allie Larkin), but S starts to feel ignored when I read 24/7.  😉  I know that walking Bailey is another good idea – fresh air and exercise for the price of one.  But what else?  I need some ideas for ways to keep my mind occupied when I’m doing things that don’t require brain power…dinner, laundry, etc…

Any ideas??



  1. jolene1079 said,

    I know! Let’s plan dinner asap so we can brainstorm on all the FUN we’re going to have in wine country!! That’s a distraction right?? 🙂 And I love what she said about changing the language – experiencing vs. losing it – SO true, and I bet it will help ease it a bit to think about the words you use when talking or thinking or blogging through it all. hang in there friend! XO.

  2. Meg said,

    Reality TV is a great to see that other people’s f-ed up lives. IE the Jersey Shore. High Unintentional Comedy.

  3. Rose said,

    Plan a little trip (or a big one if you can). I love to travel and having that trip to look forward to always helps me stay positive. Reading about different places, taking suggestions from friends, and planning out all the fun stuff you’ll do while you there keeps you occupied for hours. Good luck!

  4. Anonymous said,

    I found your blog a few month’s ago and have been following you periodically. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through a hard time, but give you and your husband credit in picking yourself up and taking the actions that will eventually make you feel better.

    I heard somewhere that a great way to overcome depressions is to offer help to others- in circumstances great and small. Maybe take small steps at first- gather up clothing and household goods to take to the Goodwill, purchase travel sized toiletries for a local womens shelter, etc. This isn’t to say “this will put your problem into perspective” because I think your sadness is big in it’s own right. I just think it works because there is true joy in being of use to someone else. And it keeps you busy in the meantime.

    Keep moving forward- you’re doing a great job.

  5. Kelly said,

    This may seem sort of silly but…since you already have a dog and (I assume) love your dog, I’d suggest maybe taking an obedience, agility, or some other fun dog-oriented class. The “dog world” is so separate from other areas of life that I find it is a really great way to get my mind off of the other things stressing me out.

  6. D said,

    What about going sailing? Taking a day trip out on the boat, go down the Cape? Or even better take a trip up north to Maine, or Vermont and do some site seeing, take in some mountain air. Hiking, cycling, adventure walks, beaching it up!! Take Bailey and S and visit other state parks (of course find out if they are dog friendly) and enjoy an afternoon. That way you get some walking exercise, Bailey gets exercise and you get to see and find cool new places. Look for some wine/beer brewery tours, or craft fairs, penny sales, bazaars, all kinds of fun stuff, oh apple orchards are always a fave of mine. These are all things I want to do but don’t get to…

  7. egghunt said,

    Well I just posted on my distractions yesterday. Its hard to suggest things because we all have different activities that make our hearts sing. Try to think about your happiest memories and identify what it was that made you so happy. Then try to incorporate whatever that activity is into your life. I was in a slump for ages and had to really really really make myself be creative and start sewing again. At the time I really didnt feel like it was what I wanted to do but now that i’ve started I totally feel like a new person. Good luck. Its so nice to be successfully distracted, I highly recommend it!!

  8. jsutera654 said,

    Spend time with meee, your favorite long-lost friend. 😉

  9. […] like one of my favorite friends pointed out on her blog recently (tied to a very different subject entirely but totally applicable to anyone going through a […]

  10. Hillary said,

    Thinking of you. I know the bone-deep sadness you described, and your blog post last week helped me to feel ok about “distracting” myself. Thank you. I hope you are finding some small enjoyments to occupy your mind…

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