June 10, 2010
Tour de therapy
Hi friends, sorry I’ve been MIA. I haven’t been feeling well for quite a while…and on Tuesday my cold turned into a sinus infection that was discharging from my EYE. I didn’t even know that was possible! Truly disgusting. So now I’m just trying to keep up my energy enough to do some paperwork that is due by EOD tomorrow.
I’m taking a break from work to write this post because I need to share two things that have given me hope over the past few days. The first is my amazing husband. Those of you that know us in real life or who have been reading my blog for any length of time know that S and I often butt heads because we are very different but equally passionate and stubborn. This entire IF process has challenged us like nothing else, but seeing how strong our relationship is after this latest disappointment has proved to me that there is nothing that we can not accomplish or get through together.
Four years ago, S would not even have considered adoption, and the amount of money necessary to do so would have sent him over the edge. Now he just wants us to have a family and more than anything, for me to be happy and healthy. He has been the one encouraging me to start thinking about adoption and keeps reminding me that I didn’t give birth to Bailey and Killian (now that would have been a feat!), but that we couldn’t love them more if we had. He’s even considering taking on a MASSIVE job that would give us the money we need to adopt in just about six months.
The other thing that he has done to suprise me recently was an incredibly positive reaction to my conversation with the therapist last week. Not only was he so happy that it made me feel better and super supportive about my decision to meet with her again, he also mentioned that he’d like to come WITH ME to meet her in the future. This from my husband who previously didn’t believe in therapy of any kind.
We have both grown and matured so much over the past six years, and I can’t tell you what an amazing realization that is just two days before our anniversary. I honestly can’t imagine going through life with anyone else, and I feel very lucky to be married to my true soul mate.
The other thing that has helped me feel better recently is what I’m calling my tour de therapy. It started on Friday with the IF specialist, and then continued this week – on Monday I met a fellow IF friend for lunch to talk about her experiences with infertility and adoption, yesterday I met one of my best friends for breakfast (who has been through enough in her baby-making journey that she truly understands what I’m going through), and next week I’m having lunch with another friend who has had baby-making challenges.
It has really helped me to talk through things with people who have been there, and to start working through some of my other options. I know that we have a long road ahead of us, regardless of our next few decisions, but I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that I will survive no matter what happens. And regardless of how it needs to happen, we WILL have a family some day.