May 21, 2010
In just over 24 hours, we’ll know whether we’re going to be parents (in less than 9 months)…and I am FREAKING OUT.
I’m literally all over the place…
I’ve been feeling better yesterday and today, so I’ve convinced myself that it didn’t work…but definitely haven’t processed what that would feel like.
But then again, I just ordered more progesterone, on the off chance that I’ll be needing it past tonight. I have just enough for tonight, so if it’s negative, I’ll have two vials I don’t need, but if by some miracle we ARE pregnant, I couldn’t risk not being able to get more meds before the pharmacy closed for the weekend. So yippee, more $…hopefully I’ll be using those meds and not letting them gather dust in my closets like all the rest of my extra drugs.
And then there’s the age old question…to POAS (pee-on-a-stick) or not to POAS. I think since all I’ve ever seen are one lines, and 0 betas, that I don’t really believe it’s possible for a pee stick to show a positive for me. All I can remember is the millions of negatives I’ve received over the past few years…
Like, what’s the definition of insanity – doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? I’m this close to being declared insane, and I don’t need a pee stick to push me over that edge. I don’t think I’ve let myself truly BELIEVE that this time could be different. I’d rather wait for the 30 second phone call that I can just DELETE if necessary.
Wow, I sound a little worked up, huh?
Now, the only really important question is what to do between 10 and 2 tomorrow, while I wait for the call and wait for S to return home (he’s going up to Maine with my dad and uncles to open the family cottage). I’m thinking a mani/pedi…just wish I could drink a few cocktails in the meantime. 😉