May 13, 2010

Ups and downs

Posted in Infertility, IVF tagged , at 6:42 am by lifebytheday

I have a feeling that this entire 2WW is going to be one big roller coaster, and yesterday definitely didn’t disappoint.  I found out that none of our remaining embryos were able to be frozen, but still haven’t been able to connect with anyone to find out WHY.  I called and called yesterday and finally got a message from the director of the lab and then came home to this letter:

The Fertility Center Laboratory and the entire team of the Reproductive Medicine and IVF practice wish you the very best of success with your treatment. The laboratory wishes to inform you that no embryos were cryopreserved from your recent IVF cycle.

That’s it.  No explanation, no “we REGRET to inform you,” nothing. 

Seriously, the only thing that saved me from a hardcore downward spiral is the fact that all day yesterday I kept feeling these little twingy cramps on my left side.  That would have been perfect timing for implantation, so it gave me a lift.  I can’t remember whether I felt anything like that in my previous cycles, but I’m holding out hope that it was indeed implantation and that it won’t matter that we don’t have any other embryos as backup.

If this cycle is another Big Fat Negative, I don’t know what we’re going to do.  Even with ICSI we are getting terrible quality embryos!  It’s been suggested, and I have to agree, that it’s probably a lot to do with the fact that they have to seesaw the meds with me, in order to prevent hyper-stimulation.  So the eggs grow a lot, and then they stall out…grow, stall, grow, stall…makes sense to me that the quality wouldn’t be the best.  I just don’t know how else we could do it!

Please God we don’t have to worry about a new plan and another cycle…we really want THESE babies, please!

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10 Comments »

  1. Squashgirl said,

    Awww that is a rollercoaster of emotions to go through. It does make sense about the egg quality but hopefully this was the cycle. 2WW are hard to get through and I am saying extra prayers that you will get through it with out too much stress. Twinges are a good sign I think 🙂 I know its hard not to get your hopes up. Hang in there!

  2. Em said,

    You guys have been on my heart lately. Praying for you!

  3. jolene1079 said,

    Yay for twinges…I’m hoping that is a good sign too…XO and lots of hugs and prayers friend!!

  4. Liz said,

    This two weeks is the hardest part of the process. Rest when you can, Cry when you need to, Laugh often and try to keep your mind occupied. Its not easy…

  5. Ashley said,

    Oh man, I too was devastated at the freezing report. I have EVERYTHING crossed that you had no use for any frozen embies anyway and you will be getting good news soon!! Yay for twinges!

  6. Mel said,

    Fingers and toes crossed honey. And many, many prayers and good thoughts heading your way.

  7. jsutera654 said,

    I’m praying as hard as I can over here!!! xoxoxo

  8. Kelly said,

    The twinges are a great sign! Good for you trying to focus on the positive.

  9. egghunt said,

    Oh I hate those letters that arrive from the lab informing of lack of frozens. Why the hell haven’t clinics learnt that recieving a letter with such black and white horrible words on it during your delicate 2ww is counter productive. I am sorry you werent able to get any reasons for why none were frozen and my heart goes out to you as I know it’s hard news to take on top of the pressures of your current cycle. But if it’s any consoluation I think actaully getting frozen embryos is a minority. It is certainly something that my clinic puts down as a bonus and not guaranteed at all. But of course you know this and it doesnt make it any easier.
    Those twinges sound just delightful!!! A great sign. My uterus is decidedly inactive so I have less hope this time around. Its such a mind game this 2ww isn’t it. Beta day still seems so far away. x

  10. Kari said,

    Good luck and hoping those twinges are implantation!! Take it easy and try not to be too disappointed about the frozen’s. It’s hard, I know. Been there twice. My clinic absolutely, positively won’t freeze them unless they’re perfect and they are sure they’d survive the thaw. It sucks. I hear ya. I don’t think we ever got reasons behind the discarding of ours either.


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