April 30, 2010

What IF

Posted in Friends, Infertility, Life tagged at 2:27 pm by lifebytheday

We interrupt your regularly schedule programming – yes, those boring monitoring updates – to share with you an issue on a larger scale.  This week is National Infertility Awareness Week which, to be honest, kind of rubs me the wrong way.  My feelings were captured perfectly by a fellow infertile who said “I am aware EVERY DAY that I’m infertile. What does this week have to do with me?”  With that said, it is so important to spread awareness to the rest of the world, so I’m going to play along. 

I’m a little too late to officially participate in Project “What IF”, but I want to share my thoughts and support for the movement.  The gist is to state our biggest “what if…” in regards to infertility, to take our deepest, darkest fears out of our heads/hearts/souls and put them out into the universe and the community for support.  So, without further ado…

What IF
     …we’re never able to have a biological child?
     …once we finally do get pregnant, something happens to our child(ren)?
     …we can’t even make it to retrieval and transfer?!
     …my infertility eventually affects our marriage?
     …we go broke before our children even arrive!

Okay, phew!  Now, no more negativity!  I’m not feeling quite strong enough yet to state the reverse…what WILL happen…but I’m hoping and praying that this is the cycle that’s going to work.  (Oh, and for those of you who were wondering – my E2 doubled to 888, which is apparently a good thing at this point.  So they’re scaling back stims just a bit – to 37.5/75 – for tonight, and I’m back in tomorrow morning for monitoring.  At this rate, I’m going to look like a junky by the end of the weekend!)

In closing, I just want to share a comment from my fellow blogger Kacy:

A person with any type, degree, or complexity of infertility or loss is marked by something for their entire life. It’s life changing. And not because you walk differently or your daily routine changes but because your perspective changes.

I truly believe that I have some of the best friends in the world, and I know that even without having to go through it themselves, that all of their perspectives have changed as well.  So thank you ladies – you know who you are – my life would be a much darker place without all of you.  Hugs!



  1. jolene1079 said,

    What a great post friend!! And yes, I agree – my perspective is totally much more “educated” on it, and I respect it, I embrace it, and I pray for the best for you every day! XO!

  2. jsutera654 said,

    LOVED reading this friend, and not just cuz you said you had awesome friends (hehe), but because it truly shows your strength and your huge heart which are two of the things I love most about you. Hugs hugs hugs!!

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