April 28, 2010

Highs and lows

Posted in Infertility, IVF, Life, Uncategorized tagged , , at 8:21 am by lifebytheday

I woke up this morning and remembered the most delicious dream…I was pregnant with twins!  For some reason, I was the one that did the ultrasound and discovered there were two, which yes, was a little strange, lol…but it was such a fun little thought.  I woke up and knew that it was just a dream, but it gave me a big lift and was a great encouragement to get up out of bed and off to my monitoring appointment. 

It ended up being my RE doing the ultrasound this morning, which was a nice treat, but instead of taking advantage of some face time, my mind went totally blank and I just nodded and smiled the whole time.  Der.  The appointment itself was a little discouraging…my follies just haven’t grown that much (10’s and 11’s, vs. 9’s and 10’s from Monday).  Dr. T was hard to read, and just kept saying that we had to be super careful so that we didn’t have to cancel the cycle again.  He wants to limp me along with the stim meds, so that the majority of the follicles stay small with just a few growing (and growing well). 

We just have to wait to get my E2 number to confirm, but he thinks that I’ll probably do the same thing I did the past two nights – Repronex only tonight, then Repronex and half of the Gonal-F tomorrow.  (For JS, and the others who might be wondering, the estradiol levels are used to determine whether too many follicles are growing.  The bigger the follicles, the more estradiol they release, which is why the number goes up as the cycle progresses, but lots of little ones can release the equivalent of a few big ones.  My E2 number is the reason that the last cycle needed to be cancelled, so they’re watching it very carefully.)

So I have to keep wishing for a low E2 but big follies…oh, and a retrieval either before or after May 6th.  Just realized that I have a work presentation scheduled next Thursday afternoon, that I thought I’d definitely be able to avoid, but now I’m getting worried that my retrieval might be right on that date.  And this preso is a HUGE deal.  Figures.

I’m just feeling a little bummed out today…I hope to God that my E2 level is still low and that we don’t have to start worrying about that…but enough already, let’s get moving!

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UPDATE – I gues I’m more than a little bummed out.  I just started crying on the phone to S, for really no reason.  He reminded me that things are progressing slowly because that’s what they want to be happening, and that I need to stay positive.  He’s right, but I just can’t stop feeling SAD.  Ugh, F these hormones. 😦

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6 Comments »

  1. Kari said,

    ((HUGS)) Slow and steady wins the race. I stimmed slowly too, it’s hard because you feel like you aren’t getting anywhere, but you will!! I hope you don’t end up with a retrieval on the 6th, but the 5th or 7th. Hoping your e2 levels come back nice and low. I know that blank feeling that happens when you are with your doc all too well. I had to take my husband to every appointment he could make to be sure I remembered to ask all the questions. What a wonderful dream!! As for doing your own u/s, at this point I think you’re more than qualified!! That’s how I feel anyway!!

  2. cristin said,

    you’re a tough cookie, lady! fingers are crossed!!

  3. jolene1079 said,

    no tears – happy ones only 😉 (and agree with cristin – you are tough, you are strong, you CAN DO IT!!)

  4. jsutera654 said,

    Aw babe, I’m sorry you’re having a sad day! Sending you a virtual hug – and, I think you should listen to S on this one, he has a good point. 🙂 xoxo hang in there…

  5. Pie said,

    Those evil hormones are messing with you! Hang in there, and remember, slow and steady wins the race!

  6. egghunt said,

    I’m just catching up on your posts. You both look georgous in the photo at the wedding and it is no easy feat to do injections at a time like that so I think you did brilliantly. The diabetic line was a good one, must remember that for the future!

    It somehow slipped my mind that you and me are cycle buddies this time around, and we seem to be having a similar path… my follies are slow growing too and it is so hard when you have expectations (or previous experiences) that aren’t met. Hang in there, I hope things will get better for both of us. xxx


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