March 13, 2010
Wow, I just can’t seem to keep up with my blog writing and blog reading – sorry friends!
This job is certifiably INSANE – literally 16 hour days with NO time for FB or blogging. Boo. It’s also a lot more physically challenging – I’m on my feet all day (made slightly better by my new not-so-stylish Dan.sko clogs ;-)) – walking, walking, walking. I actually think that I’m moving in the direction of being in better shape, which will hopefully inspire me to start working out again. So that’s the good part, but the sheer amount of work involved in this job has been difficult to navigate. The other night S said “you actually work from the minute you wake up until the minute you go to bed, huh?” Umm, yeah. SUCKS.
The problem is compounded because not only am I new, but this is also the busiest time of year in my industry. Everyone says that it gets better by the end of April – I can survive another 4-6 weeks, right? I just keep thinking that I couldn’t possibly do this job pregnant and that maybe that’s why the last cycle didn’t work out. God knew that I couldn’t handle it and forced an early cancellation so that I could move on with my life. But now, I have to decide what to do next.
The RE’s office called me with the details for my next cycle – starting Lupron on March 25th, stims on April 6th, and the retrieval tentatively scheduled for April 15th. And now I feel so torn. For the past FOUR years of infertility treatments, I have basically gone full steam ahead (at least as much as our finances would allow) and would cycle whenever the RE let me. But right now, I just don’t know whether my body can physically handle it. I obviously want to be pregnant ASAP, but I worry about the effect of all of the stress and physical strain on me, my eggs, and our embie(s).
As much as I hate to wait MORE before being pregnant, I actually think that the most responsible thing to do would be to delay for an extra month or so, so that the stims and retrieval would be in May, not April. I could get through the busy time without feeling bloated and sore (esp. since the DR’s basically put me on modified bedrest once I get going on stims – hence the no working out, for YEARS, lol). That way, once we DO get pregnant, I’ll have a few quiet months at work to get through any morning sickness or ickyness. Then by the time work gets busy again, I’ll be able to tell people that I’m pregnant and can’t carry textbooks around. 😉
I keep going back and forth…S has basically said that because it’s my body AND my job, that I have to make the final decision, but he tends to agree. He was really funny, he made some comment about how “we always try to do too much…that we COULD handle it, but maybe we should try to ‘switch it up’ and just try to focus on one thing at a time.” Another consideration (although clearly more minor) is a long-distance wedding that we’ll be attending on April 24th. It’s with a group of college girlfriends that I haven’t seen since MY wedding six years ago, and it would be much easier to just be able to drink and not have to fake it (or try to explain that I *might* be pregnant but don’t know for sure).
So what do you all think? Stall, and cycle in May?? Or suck it up and just move forward? Opinions wanted, please!