November 5, 2009

Overthinking…and fear

Posted in Infertility tagged , , at 10:36 am by lifebytheday

I don’t know why, but now that I am actually ON medication in preparation for our next IVF, I have become fixated on the question of whether we’ll transfer one or two embryos.  (This is not a new worry – see this post for more.)  I know that we are months away from having to make a decision, and I know that there will be specific factors in place that will make one decision or the other make better sense (number of embryos, embryo quality etc.), but I can NOT stop thinking about it.  I think it might have to do with the fact that several of my fellow bloggers – the few that successfully got pregnant with IVF – are pregnant with twins!  I was brushing my teeth this morning after getting out of the shower and looking at myself in the mirror, and realized how BIG I would get if I was carrying twins.  Not that that’s a deciding factor, obviously, but it just made it feel very real.  I was like, “wow, I wouldn’t be able to reach the medicine cabinet if my stomach was that big!!”  LOL.  Not to mention the worries of premature babies and other health issues…my mind is whirling.

To any of you ladies currently pregnant with twins, or who have decided to transfer two embies…HELP!  What made the final decision for you?  I know that there’s always the fear, but do you feel comfortable with your decision?

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5 Comments »

  1. jsutera654 said,

    My vote (and I am biased since I am a multiple!) is two things: 1 – go with your gut, when it comes down to it, it’ll never lead you astray and 2 – I vote implant two. You’re putting so much effort into this latest round of IVF in particular that if it means potentially having twins, its worth it. It could also mean a successful single birth which makes it a win-win in my book. 🙂

  2. Kari said,

    This echoes my post from a few weeks ago, I know you’re apprehension all too well. I too, had a hard time making that decision. DH was sold on twins from the begining if it didn’t put my health at risk. In the end we knew they wouldn’t freeze what we had left, their standards are too high, so rather than leave the second one to be discarded we transferred it. It also wasn’t the best looking blast so there’s a chance it didn’t implant. It’s a very difficult decision and it’s such a personal decision. I wish there were some easy way to know the “right” answer. In our case we were willing to accept the increased risk, that’s not to say I won’t always blame myself if something is wrong with my babies, if I have twins, because we transferred two. But at this point we are ready to accept that. Good luck and I hope someone can share with you a positive story to help ease your fears!! 🙂

  3. Myndi said,

    As you know, we transferred 2, and while I’m pregnant, we won’t until next week how many are actually in there. Before we actually went through the IVF, I was very unsettled about the idea of twins for a lot of different reasons. I really wanted to experience a normal first (for DH, not me) pregnancy. I didn’t want to worry about bedrest, whether or not I’d have to have a c-section, pre-term labor, or being forced to have an epidural (which I’m not comfortable doing). For DH and I, it was more about the pregnancy and birth than after. The finances and all that can be figured out. So, I was definitely apprehensive. But when given the risk of no pregnancy (doing SET) vs. a twin pregnancy…I opted to take the chance. I would rather have two babies, a csection and an epidural than to have to go through repeated IVF’s. I know recent studies seem to be indicating that SET’s have nearly equivalent odds…but my clinic recommended 2. If they aren’t comfortable with the odds with only one, I wasn’t either.

    Ultimately, it’s a really personal decision. Things are rarely black and white. But as I said when I looked at it from the perspective of risking no pregnancy or potentially ending up with two, I knew immediately what I was willing to live with. Somehow you’ll find your way to the right answer for you. 🙂

  4. Ashley said,

    That was a tough decision for me because I was very afraid of having twins and am now pregnant with twins. I just didn’t think it would work so I didn’t worry too much about it. I’m glad to be having twins, but never stop worrying about how huge I will be, health complications of being born early, losing one of them (that happens in 55% of twin pregnancies), and then the cost of having two children the same age. My mom is going to move in with us and care for them because the cheapest we could get daycare for two infants is about $1200 a month. Plus twice the co-pays at doctor’s appointments, twice the food bills, twice the clothing, twice the supplies, twice the car insurance when they turn 16.

    Okay, now that I am typing this, I guess I have more fears than I thought! 🙂 But we are also very excited because we want to have two children so we will NEVER have to go through this again!

    Good luck making a decision!

  5. 21reena said,

    As you know, I haven’t gone through this – but I have the same worries (and I’m only on IUI#3) – just wanted you to know you’re not alone in thinking about this stuff!


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