June 2, 2009

Meltdown

Posted in Infertility, Life at 2:39 pm by lifebytheday

The universe is conspiring against me and mine.

In the past 24 hours, I’ve found out that a dear friend has officially put her house on the market (the aftermath of a very sad divorce), another friend has had a miscarriage (after she finally reached the three month mark and JUST started telling people), and my good friend’s sister found out that she might not ever be able to have children (due to an extremely serious adrenal gland disorder).  Add all that to the stress I’m already feeling trying to get ready for our trip next week (wrap up work projects, do laundry, errands, pack…), and the fact that I STILL have seen no signs of OV…and what do you get?  Total meltdown.  Sobbing on the phone to S by 9am this morning.  Ugh.

I feel a little better now, after a good cry, and a relatively productive day at work, but this morning was rough.  Life just seems so unfair sometimes, that I have a hard time remembering my mantra – God has a plan for us, and doesn’t give us more than we can handle.  Sometimes I wonder though…Why do the most deserving of people have to go through horrible things like the loss of a child, when others who don’t even want them can pop them out like Pez?!?  Why doesn’t God give all of the healthy children to the people that want them??

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5 Comments »

  1. Kate said,

    I wonder that every single day.

    *Hugs*

  2. Amy said,

    Hi, friend. Sorry to hear you had such a day. Do we need a drinking lunch? Just keep breathing, and keep envisioning yourself on a beach in Hawaii. xoxo

  3. Jolene said,

    aww – and you mention me in your blog too, you are so sweet!! You are in my thoughts always, and I just want you to HAVE A BLAST IN HAWAII!! you deserve it!!

  4. iamstacey said,

    sometimes when you’re carrying such a heavy load like you are, and as much as you love your friends and family, you hafta set their burdens aside for a while so you can handle your own. your friends and family know you love them, but that’s a lot to absorb. it’s good you’ll be getting away together for a while. it’ll help you let go a little, if only for your time on vacation!

  5. Jess said,

    Friend. I hope you are releasing some stress and getting back to “you” and “us” time with S in Hawaii. You deserve it more than anything. I, too, wonder why God hands us such battles in life but agree with your sentiment that He never gives us more than we can handle. You are incredible, strong, beautiful and loving. You will get through this, and we’re all here to support and hug you through it. xo


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