February 24, 2009
Infertility makes me mean
Infertility is making me a mean, grouchy person, so I apologize in advance. It’s baby season, and it’s starting to wear on me…
Whenever I hear that someone is pregnant or has given birth, my mind immediately shifts to this scale by which I weigh that person’s “deserved-ness.” Everything becomes a factor – that person’s relationship with their significant other, their relationships with their friends, but most of all, how easy (or not!) it was for them to get pregnant!!
I used to read this great blog – Confessions of a Young Married Couple (marriageconfessions.wordpress.com) – until she announced that she was “Surprise, pregnant!” and not ready or even all that excited! Add that to the Angie and Jaime Lynn Spears of the world, and I become a raving lunatic. If these people can get pregnant, why can’t I?!?
I have some very dear friends who are very close to giving birth, and in my sick twisted brain, they “deserve” their baby. One tried for a good year before getting pregnant, one had an ectopic pregnancy, and one has PCOS. It makes me feel like a bad friend and a mean person for even thinking these thoughts, but I can’t help myself!
Can someone please save me from myself??