April 27, 2012
NIAW – Don’t Ignore Joy
I truly hope that I don’t come off as being a smug parent (in the vein of Bridget Jones) with this post, but I’d like to suggest to people who are parenting (or pregnant) after infertility - don’t ignore the joy of being a parent. I feel like so many people in this community end up feeling so much GUILT after getting pregnant, that it starts to bleed into their ability to enjoy their pregnancy and even their child after they have arrived.
When we got pregnant, I made the conscious decision to enjoy every minute - partly because I didn’t know whether that would be my only chance to experience pregnancy, and partly to honor the baby that we worked so hard for. And as most of you know, it was not an easy pregnancy to enjoy. Then once A was born, I was so preoccupied with him (and trying to fit in a shower here and there) that I made a less-conscious decision to step back from the blogging community a bit. I still read all of my regular blogs – usually while BFing in the middle of the night – but I never made it onto my computer to comment. Sorry friends! (I actually still have a ton of posts saved in my reader to comment on…it probably will never happen, but hey, good intentions! ;-P)
None of that means that I have ever forgotten about those folks still in the trenches – I regularly send out prayers and wishes that everyone who wants to have a child is able to – but I don’t think that feeling guilty about the fact that we were finally able to have a child will make it happen any faster for anyone else. And to be honest, it made me too sad to think about infertility every single day. I think that my mind needed a break from the sadness as much as my body needed a break from all of the supplements and needles and meds.
My approach with A has been similar to how I treated my pregnancy…consciously focusing on enjoying every minute, and not wishing his life away or pining for what has passed. Although, the latter goal is getting harder and harder the faster he grows up. (I can’t believe he is 11 months already!! 11 mo. post coming tomorrow…)
Anyways, all that to say…if you are blessed with a child, through birth or adoption, thank God and then enjoy the heck out of them!