March 16, 2010

Melting down

Posted in Infertility, Life, Work at 6:40 pm by lifebytheday

For the first time in years, I cried on Sunday night…in anticipation (and dread!) of the week ahead.  And that was after working 4-5 hours on Saturday and again on Sunday, so it’s not like I was even mourning the end of a relaxing weekend!  I know that I did this to myself, which makes it hard to complain about it…but right now, this job is sucking the life out of me.  I haven’t had quality time with S in about a month, and he’s starting to lose patience…and I’m just so TIRED.  I just can’t keep up!  I mean, I like all of the individual aspects of the job (I think)…there are just too many of them!

I realized after my last post that I was absolutely leading the witness…asking you guys questions in a way that you could only answer one way.  But seriously, in the past few days I have done some real soul searching and have finally accepted the fact there is NO WAY that I could physically or mentally handle cycling right now.  And even if I pushed through and did it, I’d be so stressed an exhausted that my embies wouldn’t stand a chance!

So as much as it sucks to delay MORE, we’re going to sit tight until April and hope that work dies down like everyone has been promising me.  Wish me luck…!

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4 Comments »

  1. jolene1079 said,

    Aw, you poor thing – even though you “did this to yourself” I hope you know you’re allowed to feel stressed, tired, drained…it’s natural, especially with all the newness to the job you’re now in. I bet it will calm, but it does take time. But, you are doing it, you took the leap, and you are “living dangerously” in 2010, our wonderful motto for the year, right?? Go you!

  2. Meg said,

    It is not a melt down but a break through. God gave you two hands and only so many hours in a day – you only can get done what you can get done. And that is ok. Take care of you, ok?
    XOXO Meg

  3. jsutera654 said,

    Agree with Jo and Meg – take care of YOU first. You got this, this job will calm down as you figure out all the nuances and you WILL find balance soon. In the meantime, don’t beat yourself up for being stressed, it’ll only make you feel a thousand times worse. Love!!

  4. 21reena said,

    GOOD LUCK! GOOD LUCK! GOOD LUCK! can’t wait to hear about your break AND about your new start!


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